[REVIEW] Darksiders II

Darksiders II
Release Date: August 14, 2012
System Reviewed: Xbox 360
Plays Like: The Legend of Zelda, God of War, Prince of Persia

What's Great: The combat has gotten much better, as your magical prowess is expanded, and the abilities you can use are actually worthwhile. The magical abilities are far more useful than the crap that War had, as these abilities grow on with one another in the skill tree. The game world definitely feels larger, especially with the different realms that you do visit; they rarely feel like "mirror worlds" of one another. Having Despair (your horse) from the very beginning is so goddamned welcome after the debacle that was the first game. 

What's (Not So) Great: The GUI and the gun. Learning that the UI team was fired back in March only helps to aid my hatred for the menus. It's generic, it's old, it's terrible to look at. It works (hardly), but it's ugly. The worst offender in the menus are the stats. If I'm looking at changing my gear around, why is it showing what the numbers are going up to rather than what they going up by? 

For example, let's say I have a cowl equipped that grants an additional 20 point of Defense. If I find another shoulder piece that's better, but doesn't offer that much added Defense, it shouldn't be showing "▼16", but rather "▼4", as in the new piece of equipment is dropping 4 points; this makes it seem like you're dropping 16 points of added Defense, but it means it's dropping to an increase of 16 points. This forces you to go to the currently equipped item, memorize it's stats, then go back, and see if it's worth the minus 4 points for the added 5% gilt drop. There's also the issue that some item stats actually don't appear when viewing another item. Having a gauntlet that grants an extra 5% Experience is great, but when you see a better one that gives a whole bunch of stuff but added Experience, show me that the extra Experience rate is being removed, rather than not show it at all.

What should have happened was show the stats of the currently selected item, then the stats of the currently equipped item, and compare stats between the two. You know, like every other fucking RPG out there. THQ axing the entire UI team 5 months before the release was a detriment, because it's evident that a programmer finalized the touches, and not a graphic designer; it's functional, but ugly as sin.

Bottom Line: Looking back at my time with the first Darksiders, I thoroughly enjoyed the game, but it had the little annoyances that bugged me. Two and a half years later, THQ delivers with a promising sequel, not only making the game feel richer, but the nuances I had discovered were calmed. Was every issue I had fixed? No, not quite; matter of fact, with a new RPG system, there arises several issues. However, Darksiders II is a worthy sequel, and, with THQ this close to going under, I hope that we see more entries in the series.

Grade: B

(Rented the game from GameFly, finishing the game on Normal difficulty. Never went too far out of my way for tokens or non-essentials, but if there was a treasure chest, you can bet your ass I went after it. Obtained 33 Achievements worth 530 GamerScore over 17.5 hours.)

[REVIEW] Deadlight

Deadlight

Release Date: August 1, 2012
System Reviewed: Xbox 360
Plays Like: Shadow Complex; Limbo; Trine

What's Great: My kind of game. Deadlight is a classic 2D platformer that dabbles in action elements, but is more 2D than 2.5D, in that, the visuals and environments are fully 3D (much like Shadow Complex), but the game is strictly up/down, left/right movement. There are no upgrades to your weapons, but you do gather a handful of different weapons to work with, such as an axe or shotgun. The story, while a tad shallow, does pick up the pace later in; the twist, while some could guess at, is a nice surprise, one that hasn't been used all that often as of late.

What's (Not So) Great: Some puzzle solutions are not incredibly obvious, but not a huge hindrance. Climbing and jumping - key elements of a platformer - aren't as solid as you would hope, especially when it comes to climbing down, which has been my biggest issue; the window of opportunity to tell Randall when to grab a hold of a lower ledge is sporadic. The spoken dialogue is fucking horrendous, and the writing could be just a smidge better. Shadows (what this game calls their zombies) can be deadly when there are more than one, which is what it should be, however, several axe swings later, they still haven't lost a limb, their head, or at least fallen over; combat en masse is the burden to this game.

Bottom Line: This is a fun game, do not let others tell you otherwise. If you are a fan of classic platformers, you'll fall right in line here. This may be another post-apocalyptic zombie game, but a great, fresh take on the genre; don't expect anything like Left 4 Dead, but more akin to The Walking Dead episodic game currently out there, as it's more focused on story and exploration, rather than zombie maiming. It is fairly short, so some may have a hard time swallowing that $15 price tag. If need be, wait until a sale, but you may be kicking yourself in the ass when that sale comes, as you didn't experience this game now.

Grade: B-

(Downloaded the game from Xbox LIVE Arcade for the full 1200 MSP. Played the game entirely, earning all 30 Achievements, taking just under 2 hours to complete the game altogether.)

(Ed. Note: I updated the 'Plays Like' field to be more accurate; referencing 15+ year old games isn't necessarily a good way to do it.)

[REVIEW] Lollipop Chainsaw

Lollipop Chainsaw
Release Date: June 12, 2012
System Reviewed: Xbox 360
Plays Like: Bayonetta, MadWorld, Devil May Cry

What's Great: Suda 51 doesn't censor himself, and his crude humor shines through. With lines like "I'd never thought I'd be rescued by someone with such great tits", or "I'm going to go home and masturbate to you", Suda's mind is at all times present. The combat, while sometimes unresponsive, is addicting. I'm not sure what makes it so, but I first walked into this very skeptically, and each time I put it down, I hesitated to pick it back up. Each successive time I did, I found myself playing longer and longer. Health, while non-regenerative (thankfully), is in the form of lollipops, and they are in an abundant supply.

What's (Not So) Great: Where to start? Combat is unresponsive (as stated above), with combos not registering fully. You'll get the hang of the timing, but it's not like you'd expect: rather than press X 4 times then Y twice, you press X until you memorize each pom-pom attack, and once you see her do her jump/dive and roll, you know to cram on the Y button until the super combo hits. The upgrade system/store is incredibly annoying, especially hearing that goddamned lollipop song; I learned to hit Mute on my remote once I came to a shop. There are no previews for combos, nor do they give you more information than a one-liner in the shop (there really should have been a training hub that would allow you to practice combos). One gripe I do have is that, while you can exchange 500 Gold zombie medals for 1 Platinum, there's no way of reversing that exchange; why can't I trade in my one Platinum coin for even 100 Gold medals? Successive upgrades, such as for health or strength, shoot up drastically in price, making you grind your way through Sparkle Mode and plan your attacks accordingly, lining up zombies for multiple take-downs in one swipe. Grinding is not fun, especially for money.

Bottom Line: I'm a huge Suda 51 fan, so when I first heard he was doing a zombie hack-n-slash, I was pretty ecstatic. When it was succeeded by "starring a voluptuous cheerleader with a chainsaw", my heart sank, then rose. The game itself is one of those games that, if you live with your significant other, be prepared to be judged, as I was. Despite the story being utter horseshit (compared to Shadows or No More Heroes), the game can be surprisingly addicting. There are many flaws in the combat, and with a genre that has many forefathers that have nailed the execution, the sequel - if there is one - should take some major cues from games such as Bayonetta and Devil May Cry. I feel that, if Suda 51 does create a sequel (a rarity in his studio) for this game, I feel there is so much more room for improvement, and I do welcome a sequel that fixes those issues. Despite my rampant negativity towards the game, it is a game that can be fun, but only to a very small niche.

Grade: C


(Lollipop Chainsaw was obtained through GameFly, played on Normal, completing the campaign, missing one classmate. Played stage select to rescue the last student and replayed last boss fight to unlock "Happy Ending". Didn't bother with different modes.)

[REVIEW] The Walking Dead: Episode 2 - Starved for Help

The Walking Dead: Episode 2 - Starved for Help
Release Date: June 27, 2012
System Reviewed: Xbox 360

Ed. Note: There are spoilers in this review, but they have been whited-out. Just highlight to read.

What's Great: A fantastic continuation of the story. I enjoyed how the story began, but now, you're making decisions for the group. The level of "disgusting" is ramped up, as, what I thought was a dream sequence ended up being the real deal (SPOILER!: I seriously thought that Lee was dreaming the situation with Mark being cut in half after being wounded by the bandits, and his legs being the main course dish everyone ate up). The game is starting to turn into that promised "tailored" experience, and I love seeing my changes being recognized by later chapters of this game.

What's (Not So) Great: Some decisions aren't handled the best way. For instance, divvying up rations was partially fucked, in that, why can't the kids share the cheese and crackers? Why can't I split up the beef jerkey between two adults? Haven't you people heard of the leap-frog schedule, where people alternate days of eating; it sucks, but the situation at hand it brutal. Other choices don't appear to have that much of a lasting, such as everything that happens between those on the dairy farm.

Bottom Line: If you've played episode 1, you should continue the story, no doubt. If you have yet to pick up the game because people said episode 1 was dull, you have every reason now to pick it up. The releasing of the episode wasn't exactly what I wanted - it took two months to get episode 2 - but I do appreciate that Tell Tale has acknowledged that, and states that episode 3 will be out in about a months time. This is going to be the longest month of my life.

Grade: A-